Post by kime on Mar 18, 2009 21:31:56 GMT -6
Day 3
The Courts are Never Wrong
Today the writer Element Brian stayed home from the trial believing a ritual he saw the witches performing in the forest would finally make a good hook for his new book “Newts in Boots”. And if it was a flop he’d still get a nice reward for turning In the witches. Unfortunately for him enlightenedbum noticed him in a bush located at the edge of the clearing and paid a visit. Lying there on the floor now a tiny grotesque lizard Element Brian couldn’t help but think of the irony of his book title as he saw the sole of enlightenedbums shoe come towards him like the foot of wang destroying Gomorrah.
After finishing his business with Brian bum realized he still needed another newt for dinner that night so he proceeded to the old man’s house hoping he’d be easy and unnoticed pickings. Unfortunately this old man was the grizzled militiamen who killed ahava yesterday during her newt attempt and enlightenedbum realized this as he looked into the barrel of the biggest hand-held tool of destruction he’d ever seen. He had .75 seconds to marvel at how he was about to die at a the hands of a weapon so large it would be an insult to call it a mere gun. Indeed after it had fired it had leveled the entire front wall of the old mans house and cleared out 2 acres of the forest near his home.
Today at the trial GrimmyTOA the local news editor was on the stand.
“How do you plead to the charges of witchcraft TOA”
“Guilty”
“As you see your honor the defendant is a liar becau… wait what?”
“I’m honestly not a witch I just don’t want to delay the fucking inevitable, burn me for the spectacle and move on to another poor bastard”
“Well your’re obviously a witch you confessed and said you were guilty”
“IT WAS TO PROVE A GODDAMN POINT, I’M TRYING TO MAKE YOU DAMN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THESE TRIALS ARE A SHAM AND ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING”
“Hmph you’re just trying to get us to pity and pardon you I’ll have you know we’ve already caught 2 witches and your conviction means 3, TAKE HIM AWAY”
And thus GrimmyTOA was burnt at the stake for being a damn dirty witch for the courts by definition are never and will never be wrong.
After the buring a rumor once again started spreading around town
"That girl, wossname. Sounds like an exotic piercing. Hafada? Ahava. Thassit. Newt girl, worshipped satan, had a wart on her nose? I 'eard she spent a lot o' time hangin' round with that 'andsome Jason, y'know. The Todd's lad? Bet she'd been 'avin' 'er way wi'im sommat rotten. Wouldn't surprise me iff'n he ended up bein' one o' tham thar witches, by me old teeth!"
Results
Element Brian – Writer – newted
enlightenedbum – WITCH – Shot while newting
GrimmyTOA – WITCH – Burned for being a Witch
The Courts are Never Wrong
Today the writer Element Brian stayed home from the trial believing a ritual he saw the witches performing in the forest would finally make a good hook for his new book “Newts in Boots”. And if it was a flop he’d still get a nice reward for turning In the witches. Unfortunately for him enlightenedbum noticed him in a bush located at the edge of the clearing and paid a visit. Lying there on the floor now a tiny grotesque lizard Element Brian couldn’t help but think of the irony of his book title as he saw the sole of enlightenedbums shoe come towards him like the foot of wang destroying Gomorrah.
After finishing his business with Brian bum realized he still needed another newt for dinner that night so he proceeded to the old man’s house hoping he’d be easy and unnoticed pickings. Unfortunately this old man was the grizzled militiamen who killed ahava yesterday during her newt attempt and enlightenedbum realized this as he looked into the barrel of the biggest hand-held tool of destruction he’d ever seen. He had .75 seconds to marvel at how he was about to die at a the hands of a weapon so large it would be an insult to call it a mere gun. Indeed after it had fired it had leveled the entire front wall of the old mans house and cleared out 2 acres of the forest near his home.
Today at the trial GrimmyTOA the local news editor was on the stand.
“How do you plead to the charges of witchcraft TOA”
“Guilty”
“As you see your honor the defendant is a liar becau… wait what?”
“I’m honestly not a witch I just don’t want to delay the fucking inevitable, burn me for the spectacle and move on to another poor bastard”
“Well your’re obviously a witch you confessed and said you were guilty”
“IT WAS TO PROVE A GODDAMN POINT, I’M TRYING TO MAKE YOU DAMN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THESE TRIALS ARE A SHAM AND ACCOMPLISHING NOTHING”
“Hmph you’re just trying to get us to pity and pardon you I’ll have you know we’ve already caught 2 witches and your conviction means 3, TAKE HIM AWAY”
And thus GrimmyTOA was burnt at the stake for being a damn dirty witch for the courts by definition are never and will never be wrong.
After the buring a rumor once again started spreading around town
"That girl, wossname. Sounds like an exotic piercing. Hafada? Ahava. Thassit. Newt girl, worshipped satan, had a wart on her nose? I 'eard she spent a lot o' time hangin' round with that 'andsome Jason, y'know. The Todd's lad? Bet she'd been 'avin' 'er way wi'im sommat rotten. Wouldn't surprise me iff'n he ended up bein' one o' tham thar witches, by me old teeth!"
Results
Element Brian – Writer – newted
enlightenedbum – WITCH – Shot while newting
GrimmyTOA – WITCH – Burned for being a Witch
The narration seems to indicate that MacGuffin is this mysterious guard-killing gunman. Since it said that the gunman was the guy ebum was trying to kill. What's odd is that he was guarding himself today, but Dusda yesterday? I dunno, that's kind of weird.
